Ha Ha Ha

I changed the title from this.....Why Dogs Are Better Than Kids
Sorry but not really better, just better points.

* Why its good to have a dog *
It doesn't take 45 minutes to get a dog ready to go outside in the winter.
Dogs cannot lie.
Dogs never resist nap time.
You don't need to get extra phone lines for a dog.
Dogs don't pester you about getting a kid.
Dogs don't care if the peas have been touched by the mashed potatoes.
Dogs are housebroken by the time they are 12 weeks old.
Your dog is not embarrassed if you sing in public.
Average cost of sending a dog to school: $42
Average cost of sending a kid: $103,000

* Barbecue? *
As the coals from our barbecue burned down, our hosts passed out marshmallows and long roasting forks. Just then, two fire trucks roared by, sirens blaring, lights flashing.
They stopped at a house right down the block. All twelve of us raced out of the back yard,
down the street, where we found the owners of the blazing house standing by helplessly.
They glared at us with looks of disgust.
Suddenly, we realized why.........
we were all still holding our roasting forks with marshmallows on them...


* Class Pictures *
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, She's dead."

* Frog Noise, Please *
A sister and brother are talking to each other when the little boy gets up and
walks over to his Grandpa and says, "Grandpa, please make a frog noise."
The Grandpa says, "No." The little boy goes on, "Please...please make a frog noise."
The Grandpa says, "No, now go play."
The little boy then says to his sister, "Go tell Grandpa to make a frog noise."
So the little girl goes to her Grandpa and says, "Please make a frog noise."
The Grandpa says, "I just told your brother 'no' and I'm telling you 'no'."
The little girl says, "Please...please Grandpa make a frog noise."
The Grandpa says, "Why do you want me to make a frog noise?"
The little girl replied, "Because mommy said when you croak we can go to Disney World!"

* Patience *
A young woman really thought she'd been very patient,
through a long period of dating with no talk of marriage.
One night her steady boyfriend took her out to a Chinese restaurant.
As he looked over the menu, he casually asked her,
"So... how do you want your rice? plain or fried?"
Without missing a beat, she looked over her menu
at him and replied....
"Thrown."